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Measure of a Society
What does it say about a society when candy bars come with direction on how to open them up. Do we have people totally confused by the paper that they believe they need to open their candy with a blow torch or maybe a crowbar? Have candy bar makers been sued in the past because someone starved to death because they were unable to tear the packaging since it wasn't properly labeled with direction on how to rip paper?

I can see this turned into a class action lawsuit. They probably had to send out letters to people asking them if they ever had trouble opening a candy bar. Problem is the people never responded because they couldn't open the envelope that contained the letter. In fact 90% of those who survived their ordeal with the candy bar died of paper cuts from the letter about the class action lawsuit.

This of course would lead to another lawsuit against the envelope maker and glue maker who made the adhesive that sealed the letter. And for good measure they threw in the post office for allowing the letters to be mailed through the post office. Does all this labeling and lawsuits mean our society is getting stupider and softer??

Hey where you going? Get back here... bye for now.

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Hands On
Since I work in computers, I stumbled across an interesting and at the same time disturbing unix command. I found this command called 'touch' which allows a person to modify the date/time of a file so that is can retain some arbitrary date and not change the modified time. When you want to see how to use a command it usually has a manual page. This manual page is accessed by typing man then the command. In the case of touch you get...

     man touch

Now I'm not one to speculate on things. So I'll just throw out a couple of things and let the rest of the world decide how they want to interpret this command. Could this command imply that with the future growth in technology that this will allow for self serving endeavors on the part of the user. Maybe it's meant as a shopping command and a man to touch will be provided on your door step. The possibilities are endless. Well maybe not endless, but I really don't need some disturbing image of some pimply face guy man touching. Well time to go poke the minds eye out.

Hey where you going? Get back here... bye for now.

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Black Ice
I've always hated the term black ice. Ice isn't black, it's clear. The color is determined by the surface the ice is on. You don't hear people calling it green ice when it's on the grass. They only call it that when it's on a roadway or sidewalk. And why black, concrete isn't black. It's more a gray color. So why not gray ice? Or here's a thought, just freaking call it ice.

There was a reason for that lovely rant above. It's because I stepped on a patch of ice this morning getting out of my car and went sliding across the parking lot. I'm sure there are easier ways of departing from a vehicle, but I thought I would make a complete ass of myself this morning and slide out of my car. It's more fun that way. Everyone can get out and stand up and walk away from their car. It's more fun to slink out of the car like a snake would. Of course the real fun is when people are around and see you fall. That just compounds your embarrassment. Sure it's funny to laugh when someone falls, even if it's you. But it just weird because when you fall you suddenly imagine people looking at you like your a complete moron who hasn't learned to walk yet. Which in my case could be argued that I haven't really properly learned to walk. But that's not my point. Really, I don't have a point.

So I kind of scrapped my hand a little bit. Should I be putting ice on it after cleaning it out? Or would that just be too ironic to put ice on a wound created by sliding on ice in the parking lot? Some food for thought there.

Hey where you going? Get back here... bye for now.

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Spamtastic Fun
It's quite amusing at times to see the humor in spam mails. You can tell most are not written by people fluent in English. Or if they are they must have been the kids who at the paste in class while the teacher taught or they were window lickers. I get a lot of spam mail at my job because we host lots of web sites. So far my favorite to date has been

   'Increase your ejaculation by 581%'

Now that's a pretty specific number. Of course me being the smart ass I am, I have to ask the question are they talking volume or distance? That's an important fact to know before buy a product.

I also got a kick out of reading the subject of this spam mail which read

   'Build more SPERM in your PENIS, 500% more after taking this pill or garden'

Now this begs the question of where else would you need to build your sperm? In a car? In your neighbors house? In a can? In a sock? In a piggy bank? And what the hell does it mean by ' after taking the pill or garden'? garden???? I've never heard of someone having to take a garden. That's an awful lot of stuff to take. Course that depends on the size of the garden. Is it a backyard garden or a chia garden? This is stuff that's important to know before building sperm. If you don't have a proper foundation you can't build your sperm correctly. Then the whole things just collapses.

But see this only gets better the more you read the contents of the spam as well. The product is called WonderCum. I'm sure they slaved over that name for weeks in their marketing meetings. But they also like to taut the benefits of WonderCum. Like the following:

• 500% more sperm - Again I ask distance or volume?
• Improved flavor - Who exactly are they having taste test this? Is it like some blind taste test at the supermarket?
• Rock hardErections
• More Staying Power - what? This doesn't make you want to get up and leave after having sex? fuck that!
• MultipleOrgasms

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