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Sketch Artist
I had this conversation with my brother the other day. He got to meet the sister of a mutual friend. I asked him what the sister looked like. This is actually what he said to me. "She had blonde hair and big cans." I'm sorry did you just say she had big cans? Who uses that term anymore? Either she had large cans of paint sitting on the desk or my brother is channeling someone from the 1930s. So as the conversation goes along I ask well was she a skinny or bigger girl. The brilliant answer I got was he couldn't tell because she was behind a desk. Oh no Superman was stopped by wood. And here I thought only lead kept him from seeing.

As the absurdity of this conversation kept going on, I suddenly think of my brother giving this description to a sketch artist. I can see the whole scene playing out. The police are looking for this woman. The only person to see her was my brother. "Sir, can you describe her for us? Sure no problem. She had blonde hair, big cans and was sitting behind a desk. Anything else, sir? What else is there to say I think that's a pretty unique description." So the sketch artist gets to work and a few hours later comes back with a sketch of a giant set of boobs with blonde hair on top sitting behind a desk. The bulletin goes out over the news. Have you seen this woman. Here's a sketch artist description of the woman.

Hey where you going? Get back here... bye for now.

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Welcome to my mind
I had one of those dreams where you wake up and go what the heck was that all about. For the most part it wasn't completely weird. Just one aspect of it was a little strange. I mean the part about being on vacation and driving around in an old beat up car wasn't too weird. Or the fact that the car got made over like they do on the show Overhaulin. No the strange part of the dream was me going to shower in the car. And this was before the car was made over. So no there was no shower in the car. But in the dream I was going to shower in the car. But once I saw the car was made over, I drove it all around revving the engine. And then finally said with the car looking this nice, I guess I should go shower in the room.

I defy anyone who analyzes dreams to figure out what showering in a car means.

Hey where you going? Get back here... bye for now.

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Soccer, tougher than you think
If I hadn't seen this with my own eyes, I would never have believed this story. It happened this past Friday night. Two games after my soccer game there was a soccer game where a fight broke out. Now generally this isn't some rough and tumble league where people break into fights to settle their issues. With the exception of the occasional gung-ho people, for the most part the league is pretty tame. So it was kind of shock to see the fight break out.

From my vantage point above the field, I'm not sure what actually triggered the fight. All I know is that this guy and girl were over by the wall and they started to shove each other. I don't know if something was said but the woman punched the guy in the head. Pretty funny when I think back on it. But it only gets better. The man grabs the woman and puts her in a head lock and then proceeds to punch her at least three to four times in the face and head. I can say I wasn't the only one stunned by this. Sure the woman hit him, but come on, you don't grab a woman into a head lock and start punching away. What was this dude trying to prove? Luckily the ref was smart enough to call the game.

And people call soccer a wussy sport. I think that was one of the best fights I've ever seen. And I've been to a lot of hockey games. :-)

Hey where you going? Get back here... bye for now.

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Freestyle Martial Arts
I truly believe this will be the new craze sweeping the country in no time at all. The following link is for a master of martial arts and amazingly also a master musician.

Todd Weeks Movies

I am in complete awe how one person can have so many diverse talents. It makes me want to strive to be a better person because of the mastery and teachings of master Todd. I've come to have a new and wonderful mindset after watching these movies. You could say I was brought to tears watching these movies.

Ok, I can't keep a straight face anymore. This guy is freaking hilarious. I was brought to tears because I was laughing so hard. I would say his best video is vol. 3 where he demonstrates his ability to break something by NOT breaking something. I'm still trying to figure out how desperate some of the women are to come into this guys house and parade around being his "ring" girls. I would think $100 isn't enough. I just wonder what his neighbors think every time he does stuff in the back yard. "Oh crap honey, Todd's in the back doing it again. Quick call the mental institution." If you do only one thing today, check out the site for a good laugh.

Hey where you going? Get back here... bye for now.

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Simplicate
I like to do a shout out to one of my loyal readers (probably only loyal reader). So what's up Assssshole. I know it must be totally thrilling to see your name up here on this immensely popular blog. You'll be famous in no time at this rate. I hope you're checking before Thanksgiving. :-)

Well there's something I never thought I would do. Use the term shout out in a sentence. Speaking of strange words. I just have to share this surreal moment that happened the other day. While in a company meeting a person used the word simplicate. Yep you heard me right, simplicate. Now it's early and I just figured I heard wrong. But after the meeting it was confirmed that the person actually said, "I just wanted to simplicate the situation."

It would seem this person took two completely opposite meaning words and combined them into a new some what useless word. So being the internet people we are at work we looked it up online. Thankfully it's not a real word it is however a word found in the urban dictionary. It means to simplify a situation by making it more complicated. As an example sentence they give. "I didn't like the color the wall was painted. So I simplicated the situation by tearing the house down rather then repaint the wall".

So have some fun and use this word and see how many people notice you using this word. It's tons of fun and tons of laughs.

Hey where you going? Get back here... bye for now.

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Three in a row
So it's definitely the end of the world. I've posted here three consecutive days in a row. If it's not the end of the world, someone may want to check that I'm still me. I may have been secretly replaced with Folgers. Which I'm not sure is an improvement. But at least it means I've posted three days in a row. Course the quality of the posts are not that great. But what do you expect, greatness?

On to why I really came here to ramble. The joys and wonders of dating and being single. Dating is like shooting a gun. Sometimes you get lucky and hit the target, other times you are so far off you nearly take off your foot. Recently I've lost a lot of toes. :-) I also think my aim is off because I'm so far off the target a bird fell at my feet the other day. But that's only because it died of fright when I shot.

I always get that none of the single female friends of my other friends are good enough for me. That's nice and all to have high standards. But I have no idea why they think I'm so good. Course I guess that's good because if I'm going to be shot in the foot, I would rather I shoot myself then have a friend help. :-)

Hey where you going? Get back here... bye for now.

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Self-Inflicted
Wow, this is hard to believe. A second post not spread out over months and months. It's really just a coincidence that I'm writing this soon. I really hadn't planned to write until I self-inflicted another injury on myself. So I thought I would share my stupidity. I figured a good laugh is better for the healing process.

It turns out that getting all those injuries playing soccer wasn't enough. I had to go an accidentally kick myself in the shin last night. No I wasn't drinking. Though the events are a little fuzzy how I did it. All I know is I was looking at something on my right foot. When I went to put my foot back down, I jabbed my heal into my left shin. Can you say I'm really coordinated. I some times scare myself with my ineptitude. I'm sure I look like Inspector Clouseau sometimes. Oh well, it's all fun and laughs anyway. If you can't laugh at me who can you laugh at.

Hey where you going? Get back here... bye for now.

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